and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
