i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
