normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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