I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
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