I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize