so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
