how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
