he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
