its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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