My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
