you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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