Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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