I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
