He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
