I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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