This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
