Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize