I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
