I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
