why didn't you poke me back
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
