woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
