no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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