Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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