that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
