WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
