You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize