i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize