At least make sure they are 18
Why
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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