Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
