i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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