I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
