We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
