She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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