Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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