You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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