remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
where are my eyebrows?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
