is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
