So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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