My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
