Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
