Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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