I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
