i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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