Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
