why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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