Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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