Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You left your phone here
Wait...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
