And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
