Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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