You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I still have a little drunk in my system
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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