i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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