You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
