You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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