Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.

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(224): View more from Illinois

U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.

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(770): View more from Georgia

His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.

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(913): View more from Kansas

What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.

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(641): View more from Iowa

Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.

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(301): View more from Maryland

The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.

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(661): View more from California

On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"

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