Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
